The autumn leaves crunch under my feet as I make my way past the front gate of the park. Off in the distance I see an oak tree. Crunch crunch.

What is it about dry leaves that make me feel so satisifed the moment I step on them? Crunch.

I wrap my scarf around my neck tighter, this late fall breeze carries a hint of winter. If you didn't have you face fully exposed to it, you almost couldn't feel it. But even so, if you take a deep gulp of air in, you can feel part of your lips becoming dry as the air loses it's humidity transitioning into the cold.

It's that time of day you can look directly into the sun because it's setting. It doesn't shine as brightly, but it's still full of color and light and beautiful. I enjoy this time of day. To my right, the playground is empty. Shouldn't there be some kids out here, playing after school? A swing is set in motion by the late autumn wind. The oak tree is closer to me now, and I can see the etchings on the bark.

The wind comes by again, stronger this time, and I feel the cold right through my scarf. I imagine the dry grass around me that will be full of dandelions and greenery, come next year. It's funny how when it's fall, you want spring. But when it's spring, you can't wait for fall. It's like we are programmed as humans to want the thing we don't have at the moment.

But right now the thing I want most is here, now. To walk around this abandoned park with a fresh set of dry leaves for my boots to step on.
Crunch.

The danger comes when, no longer relying on God, you neglect to focus your eyes on Him. Only when God brings you to a sudden stop will you realize that you have been the loser. Whenever there is a spiritual drain in your life, correct it immediately. Realize that something has been coming between you and God, and change or remove it at once.

Bookreading idiosyncrasies

People can be very particular when it comes to certain things. For example, my sister doesn't drink juice unless she dilutes it half with water because she doesn't like it too concentrated (gross, I know). Others, like some of my coworkers, can't take another step outside without putting their sunglasses on, which I find a bit strange because a little sun don't hurt nobody! Everyone has different idiosyncrasies and when it comes to books, that's where mine comes in.

Currently I am reading the Goldfinch by Donna Tartt. What an extraordinary book. There are times I have to step back and keep rereading what the author wrote because the way she describes it is just so pleasing to the reader.

That said, I started this book back in July and yes... I am still on the journey to finishing it. World's slowest reader? You've just met her. (Hi!) I knew it'd be a challenge for me, the book being almost 800 pages thick, establishing itself as the longest one I've attempted. Looking for the root cause of my slow reading, I have created a list of my bookreading idiosyncrasies.

-I read slow. I cherish the moments I'm reading the sentence that will get me further into the plot. And if I really liked it, I'll linger and keep reading it over.
-I read word for word, in my head. If I think I skipped a word, even if it's an article, I go back and read the sentence again.
-I write quotes that I come across that really speak to me so I can keep a part of the book with me even after I close it.
-If I read a word I don't know (which happens more often than not with the Goldfinch), I put the book down and look up the word in the dictionary. Then I read the sentence again and I write the vocabulary word on the list of new words I am learning while reading the book.
-I am an avid user of the bookmark. Although I read very slowly, once I sense the story becoming more and more intense, my eyes have a tendency to jump to the bottom of the page to find out what happened. I have to cover the upcoming lines with my bookmark, so that I can only read line by line to not jump the gun.

Maybe you share some of these with me. It sure makes my time with my books special. As I am nearing the end of the book, I am feeling excited yet sad to finish it. But who knows? Maybe it'll be another two months until I read the last page.

You're a mature woman when...

I found the secret to when you know you've reached adulthood as a woman.

Today, I went to Sam's Club to buy certain things and I looked aisle after aisle in the ginormous store, but I could not place where they kept their womanly-hygiene-disposables (or whatever the secret code word is for them). It left me no choice but to ask an employee to direct me in the right area of where they keep pads and tampons.

***Flashback to high school*** when I was so embarrassed and wanted the cashier to beep the items as fast as possible so people couldn't see that I was buying these things let alone peep the word "pad" in public. It made me wonder why it's conveyed as an embarrassing thing when we are younger.

But yeah, the worker didn't know herself, so she kind of shouted to her fellow co-worker and I just kind of stood there and watched in amazement as the words tampons, pads were being tossed around out in the open and we were all okay with it. And it was then I realized how far I've come.

Hurrah, we've reached maturity!

So long, Canada

I'm in a particularly mellow mood today. Listening to jazz with a glass of wine next to a candle type of mood. My past few months in Canada have been quite the experience. I've endured weather I never imaged and saw animals I've never heard of and met some people who are from all over with cool life stories. Saw the beautiful mountains of Banff and Lake Louise, learned winter survival skills, and even replaced saying "soda" with "pop" (weird because my 4 years in Pittsburgh didn't even have me saying that). One thing I haven't experienced yet though is seeing a moose and witnessing the Northern Lights. I still have a week or two left, so I will not lose hope!

As Winter Projects is winding down here, I'm preparing myself for what's next to come.

It's always hard to leave a place I've stayed at for long. I'm the type of person who melts and molds and slips through the cracks of her surroundings and becomes a part of it. So much that when it's time to leave, I always feel a pang of sadness. I get easily attached to things, which is ironic because I love exploring and going different places. I leave a little part of me when I leave the places I've been and loved.

So goodbye Canada, and I hope to see you again sometime.
But preferably when it's above 0 degrees. ;-)

Thanksgiving

I am so grateful for my supportive family, my awesome friends, my job, my past year in Louisiana, my travels and my life experiences. We're thankful for the obvious.

I want to be thankful for the unconventional, too. The things we don't think about that we never give thanks to.

I'm thankful for my terrible memory when it comes to movies because I can rewatch any movie like it's the first time.

I'm thankful for my OCD when it comes to writing in my diary. I have to record the time, date, and day of the week before I start, and every time I do it, it makes me aware and appreciative of my existence. It's kind of hard to explain this one.

I'm thankful for how I can't memorize song lyrics for the life of me, except when it comes to praise songs. It's like God made me for worship!

I'm thankful for my incapability to feel loneliness easily. Especially on a holiday, seeing people's pictures of being with family and friends can affect someone. But while I am home alone seeing these posts, I feel nothing but happiness to see love being spread all around.

Happy Thanksgiving, all :-)

Palm Trees

I never really was a fan of palm trees until recently. For one, I started drinking the Vita coconut water that everyone seems to drink around here, and it sure is a unique taste. I started with the one with a hint of guava and that one is tasty! But the 100% coconut flavor still has to grow on me. Like cilantro, it's an acquired taste I think. I still hate cilantro though.

Anyway, I found out today more information about palm trees.

1. They grow best when in a group of 2 or more. They cannot flourish as much when planted alone.
2. They only grow well in pure soil, and will not grow in contaminated soil.
3. No matter what weather, they always grow straight up, unhindered by any bad or tough environment.
4. They are always green.
5. The more they grow, the stronger they are.

After finding all this out, I admire palm trees. I think God purposely placed things like palm trees on earth so we have things as guidelines that we can follow and look up to (did you see what I did there..). I want my peers to see these characteristics in me. Let's aspire to be like palm trees!