Life Decisions

I've been overwhelmed by big decisions that have entered my life. As I pray in the midst of this time, I came across such great reminders from an article of Desiring God. Future Yvette: please refer back to this article when you feel lost or confused, or when the distractions of the world become too much. A lot of times I need constant reminding because I forget so easily that my anchor is in God and not anything else.

"If you live your life not on the basis of spiritual wisdom but on the basis of external revelations, you are not compelled to deal so deeply with the corruption of your own heart and mind. It is possible for a servant to hear the commands of his master and do them without really loving his master or being like him. But if the master refrains from telling the servant the details of what he wants done, and simply says, "Go now, and be a good representative for me in what you choose," then the servant is forced to consider what his master is really like and how deeply his own heart and mind conform to the heart and mind of the master.

God wants conformity to his Son Jesus Christ (Romans 8:29), not just external compliance with instructions. He wants us to see the way he sees and desire the way he desires and assess the way he assesses and be repelled by what repels him. And so he does not short-circuit all this inner transformation of likeness to Christ when he calls us to do his will."

I will end with a verse that gave me great encouragement.

2 Corinthians 4:16–18, "So we do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed every day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, because we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."

50 states

One of the things on my bucket list is to visit all 50 states. So far, I've been to 23 which is almost half! 46% to be exact... I found this nifty site that lets you see visually where you've been so far:

Although I've spent almost all my life in the northeast, I find it funny how I've covered all the southern states of the US. Maybe that means that's where my heart is being pulled. I really do love the south. I find it very endearing- the people and their warmth, the food, the culture, everything.

God's funny way of comfort

Yesterday, my mom went through a procedure to take out growth in her uterus. She had an operation a few years back to get rid of them, but they returned. I don't know too much about it because my parents don't give me details. My mom has still yet to tell me directly; I heard everything through my dad. As a friend said, parents tend to think that they're only supposed to worry about us and that we shouldn't worry about them. I understand that my mom didn't tell me because I am far away and didn't want me to dwell on it. But still...

I'm glad my sister's school is near them, so she drove home for the weekend to accompany my dad taking my mom in for the surgery. While Yuri was there, she told me something so candidly funny and unexpected-

While the doctor was prepping my mom,Yuri found out that this doctor (Dr. Yoon) in charge of the procedure was the same doctor who delivered Yuri as a baby! He also delivered my brother Gene! I could imagine the sense of awe as you meet the person who helped you enter this world. *cue emotional music and praise* How very awesome.

As an extra, Yuri found out that Dr. Yoon's brother was the one who delivered me! Sibling doctors deliver siblings! I hope to meet him one day! God surely has a sense of humor when he is comforting people. This occurance and realization probably brought out laughs in the room and relaxed the atmosphere. Thank you Spirit for being with my family during a tense, worrisome time!

All in all, my mom's procedure went well. Please pray for her fast recovery. I can't wait to go home for Thanksgiving.

The day I almost bought a BMW

As my lease on my Hyundai accent is winding down, I need to decide what my next step will be. These are my 3 options:

1. Buy it out
2. Lease another Hyundai
3. Return it and walk away

I'm open to options 1 and 3. I will either buy my car out or buy a used car.

I recently found out Schlumberger has it's own classifieds, kind of like an internal craigslist. Because so many employees are relocated all the time, it only makes sense to sell your furniture and car to other employees who may have just gotten there. 

I was looking on the site and came across a guy who was selling his 2007 BMW 3 series that he's only driven 25,000 miles for $9999. Wowza, what a deal!

I got in contact with him and wanted to meet him next week to physically check the car and test drive. He had posted a link to his actual craigslist ad for additional info, and good thing I went to check. Under his info, his odometer was at 99,300. I emailed him back and asked him to please explain.

It turns out that he bought the car with 74,000 miles on it originally, and in the past years he's had it, he's only driven about 25,000 miles. Wording is everything, people. Technically, what he put on his ad is not a lie, but I don't know about you sir, that is very misleading.

All is to say, I rescinded my request. I do not buy cars from tricksters.

Do you remember your first slow dance?

I suddenly had an urge to listen to K-Ci & JoJo's "All My Life" and it instantly it took me back to the dimly lit gymnasium of my middle school. Every month on a Friday we would have dances called "Teen Canteens" when I would beg my mom to buy me a new top for it every month. Bless her heart, she put up with my Hollister and BeBe obsession and got me a shirt every time. My priorities in life were new shirts, cool screen names and Maybelline eyeliner.

Alas, my crush asked me to dance during one Teen Canteen as my friends were awkwardly huddled behind me and giggling.We were two stick figures dancing rigidly, unaware of all our joints. His neck was really sweaty but I barely noticed because I was so ecstatic. I can't recall if we spoke during the song, because I hope we didn't look away the entire time or even worse, just awkwardly stare into each other's eyes. I still remember the song we danced to as it will be lodged into my memory forever- Hero by Enrique Iglesias. Immediately I came home after the dance and wrote in my diary about it- along with his name written around the frame of the entry. I would later download it on limewire and replay the song secretly in my room and slow dance with the invisible being in front of me. Oh, the joys of revisiting 7th grade.

Amy's Kitchen

One thing about working in the oilfield is that you will soon embrace the life of fast food and gas station pick ups. My friends know me as a junkie when it comes to those types of food, and I'm not particularly proud of it...but sometimes there just isn't a choice when you get off work in the middle of the night because the only thing open are McD's and Waffle House. Once in a while, you can try to premake your meals and bring it out on jobs, but good luck...that will last only a few days. 

Tonight I am writing from a job, a 2 well pad in Jal, NM, my favorite part being the empty vast fields that meet the sky. There are no buildings anywhere and you can imagine the beautiful sunrise and sunset not obstructed by any construction. 

Because we are in the middle of nowhere, there are no restaurants or a grocery shop nearby. I went to Walmart which was almost an hour away, and indulged in frozen meals. I haven't had one since my college days, so I went all out. In college, I was a devoted to Lean Cuisine. It wasn't particularly good, but my college student wallet was what determined the brand of choice. This time around, I veered away from Lean Cuisine to try other things that were out there.

Side note: My wallet is like an onion. Every time I open it, it makes me cry.

My love for thai food remains thai hot... it's been too long since I had my thai fix. When I saw Amy's Thai Red Curry in the aisle, I was excited and decided to give it a shot. Boy, what a meal! I had it for dinner and it warmed my tummy. It was the perfect blend of savory and creamy with good veggies and jasmine rice. The flavor was on point and everything seemed fresh, considering it was a frozen meal. I definitely recommend it, if you ever come across it. 

Don't tell anyone but...

I am not a Harry Potter fan. I was never a Harry Potter fan. As a reader, I feel a little confused about this, because, what was I doing while all my other friends were reading HP!? I remember I picked up the 1st and 2nd book of the series at my friend's place, but it just didn't capture my attention. Then for Christmas, my friend tried to sneakily change my view by giving me the 7th Harry Potter book as a gift. Needless to say, I don't know where that book is right now...

I seem to have missed a lot of the big legacy series. LOTR, Matrix, Star Wars, to name a few. I am proud to say I watched Terminator 1, 2, 3 though! Not sure if it stands with the classics, but I still acknowledge it.

When my friends would dress up and go to the showings, or stay up until midnight (even if it was on a school day) to pick up the next book of the series, it never entered my mind that I should give Harry and his wizardly friends another try.

Iron sharpens Iron

I don't think you need a special occasion or a reason to share the love, the wise words and teachings of God. It doesn't have to be at church, it doesn't have to be in a quiet secluded room. You can talk about God anywhere, grocery shopping, when hailing a cab, at a concert. Bring God everywhere!

I am thankful for my friends, my prayer warriors, who speak wisdom into my life on a regular basis. I am so blessed. Going off that note, a dear friend of mine shared some really good points she learned this past weekend, and I am so glad she took the time to tell me...

"The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays." - Soren Kierkegaard

• True prayer- when God's Sprit comes down and touches your heart with a transforming influence

Godly sacrifice: Do not do it for what they see, but for God. We never needed what we gave away in the 1st place. They are GOOD but not necessary.
Since we consider and look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen; for the things that are visible are temporal (brief and fleeting), but the things that are invisible are deathless and everlasting. 
- 2 Corinthians 4:18

Ungodly sacrifice: Expecting a return. Ie) those who receive reward (attention and praise from others) are used to expecting something

Spiritual excellence is integrity, when outside matches the inside. It is not perfection. It is a constant longing for God to move, to render service with a good will for God.

My choices should not make someone else stumble.

If I do not serve, I do not have an avenue to practice my faith.

Someone who did not address their own issues cannot help someone else see and address theirs.
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.- Matthew 7:5

David & Goliath in 1 Samuel 17
David = Jesus, kingdom of God, Goliath = kingdom of the world, Israelites = us

Courage is the right thing at any given time.

Matthew 5: 10-12 Blessed are those who are persecuted
2 Timothy 3:12 Suffering is the true mark of christian faith
Jesus was persecuted, so we will be too. Students never exceed their master. We are not protected from persecution.

We may not be persecuted because:
We cut off ourselves from unbelievers, we are too much like the world, we keep silent

Friends love who you are, not what you do.

Tea for Thought

Every morning I make tea. I've become a fan of loose leaf tea ever since I was exposed to Teavana a few years ago. My sister got me a tea diffuser thermos for Christmas and I love it. I like exploring other loose leaf tea options by local tea stores. I stopped going to Teavana after the first time I got their teas, and I've gotten my loose leaf teas from small tea stores in Dallas, when I visited, and Houston. My friend from China also supplied me an abundance of green tea and floral tea once, since it's very popular there. She gave me some of her dried chrysanthemums and roses which are really pretty to look at, because they bloom in the hot water and taste very nice.

Anyway, every morning when I go to make my tea, I first fill it up with cold water up to about a 1/3 of the thermos because my tongue is super sensitive to hot. It gets buned easily and then I can't enjoy my lunch in comfort. I am always scared of taking a first sip of coffee when I order it because I don't want to burn my tongue. That's besides the point. What really goes on in my head as I fill the rest of the 2/3 with hot water is how the 2 temperatures of water really mix.

In my head, I want to look through a clear glass and color the hot water to see how the hot and cold intertwine and eventually become one to make warm water. I think back to the middle school tri-fold poster science projects, and kind of wish I thought of this earlier so I could answer my question.

I imagine it something like this:

State Parks in TX

Louisiana will always have a portion of my heart. But I'm seeing more and more perks of living in Texas. It's been about 2 months since I moved to Houston and I've been enjoying my time here.

My friend shared with me a list of state parks in Texas worth going to. I am going to list them here so I do not forget. I want to go visit them during my weekends. Possibly with a friend who enjoys long drives and hiking and nature and camping.
Note to self: Find that friend sometime soon.

1. Pedernales Falls State Park (Johnson City) - 3 hours/179 miles, a little past Austin
2. Enchanted Rock State Natural Area - 4 hours/242 miles
3. Garner State Park - 4 hours/270 miles
4. Longhorn Cavern State Park - 3hrs and 30 min/208 miles
5. Lost Maples State Natural Area - 4hrs and 30min/280 miles. Go in the fall to see the foliage.
6. Palo Duro Canyon State Park - 9 hours/616 miles, north of Midland. Check out the lighthouse trail. This place is called the "Grand Canyon of Texas"
7. Big Bend Ranch State Park - 11 hours/678 miles

Motel 6 by John Ortberg

Let’s say you spend a week at Motel 6. How likely would it be for you to take all your money and spend it decorating your motel room? How probable is it that you would clean out your bank account to purchase van Goghs or paintings of Elvis on velvet or whatever it is your taste runs to?

This is Motel 6. Your ‘room’ — your home and furniture and clothes and possessions — will last the equivalent of a few seconds compared to the eternity that will be occupied by your soul. It’s not bad to stay in a place and enjoy it while you’re there. But Jesus says don’t store up treasure in Motel 6. It’s not home. You’re only going to be here a little while. If you’re going to stay up nights dreaming, dream about something better than how to upgrade your motel room.

The autumn leaves crunch under my feet as I make my way past the front gate of the park. Off in the distance I see an oak tree. Crunch crunch.

What is it about dry leaves that make me feel so satisifed the moment I step on them? Crunch.

I wrap my scarf around my neck tighter, this late fall breeze carries a hint of winter. If you didn't have you face fully exposed to it, you almost couldn't feel it. But even so, if you take a deep gulp of air in, you can feel part of your lips becoming dry as the air loses it's humidity transitioning into the cold.

It's that time of day you can look directly into the sun because it's setting. It doesn't shine as brightly, but it's still full of color and light and beautiful. I enjoy this time of day. To my right, the playground is empty. Shouldn't there be some kids out here, playing after school? A swing is set in motion by the late autumn wind. The oak tree is closer to me now, and I can see the etchings on the bark.

The wind comes by again, stronger this time, and I feel the cold right through my scarf. I imagine the dry grass around me that will be full of dandelions and greenery, come next year. It's funny how when it's fall, you want spring. But when it's spring, you can't wait for fall. It's like we are programmed as humans to want the thing we don't have at the moment.

But right now the thing I want most is here, now. To walk around this abandoned park with a fresh set of dry leaves for my boots to step on.
Crunch.

The danger comes when, no longer relying on God, you neglect to focus your eyes on Him. Only when God brings you to a sudden stop will you realize that you have been the loser. Whenever there is a spiritual drain in your life, correct it immediately. Realize that something has been coming between you and God, and change or remove it at once.

Bookreading idiosyncrasies

People can be very particular when it comes to certain things. For example, my sister doesn't drink juice unless she dilutes it half with water because she doesn't like it too concentrated (gross, I know). Others, like some of my coworkers, can't take another step outside without putting their sunglasses on, which I find a bit strange because a little sun don't hurt nobody! Everyone has different idiosyncrasies and when it comes to books, that's where mine comes in.

Currently I am reading the Goldfinch by Donna Tartt. What an extraordinary book. There are times I have to step back and keep rereading what the author wrote because the way she describes it is just so pleasing to the reader.

That said, I started this book back in July and yes... I am still on the journey to finishing it. World's slowest reader? You've just met her. (Hi!) I knew it'd be a challenge for me, the book being almost 800 pages thick, establishing itself as the longest one I've attempted. Looking for the root cause of my slow reading, I have created a list of my bookreading idiosyncrasies.

-I read slow. I cherish the moments I'm reading the sentence that will get me further into the plot. And if I really liked it, I'll linger and keep reading it over.
-I read word for word, in my head. If I think I skipped a word, even if it's an article, I go back and read the sentence again.
-I write quotes that I come across that really speak to me so I can keep a part of the book with me even after I close it.
-If I read a word I don't know (which happens more often than not with the Goldfinch), I put the book down and look up the word in the dictionary. Then I read the sentence again and I write the vocabulary word on the list of new words I am learning while reading the book.
-I am an avid user of the bookmark. Although I read very slowly, once I sense the story becoming more and more intense, my eyes have a tendency to jump to the bottom of the page to find out what happened. I have to cover the upcoming lines with my bookmark, so that I can only read line by line to not jump the gun.

Maybe you share some of these with me. It sure makes my time with my books special. As I am nearing the end of the book, I am feeling excited yet sad to finish it. But who knows? Maybe it'll be another two months until I read the last page.

You're a mature woman when...

I found the secret to when you know you've reached adulthood as a woman.

Today, I went to Sam's Club to buy certain things and I looked aisle after aisle in the ginormous store, but I could not place where they kept their womanly-hygiene-disposables (or whatever the secret code word is for them). It left me no choice but to ask an employee to direct me in the right area of where they keep pads and tampons.

***Flashback to high school*** when I was so embarrassed and wanted the cashier to beep the items as fast as possible so people couldn't see that I was buying these things let alone peep the word "pad" in public. It made me wonder why it's conveyed as an embarrassing thing when we are younger.

But yeah, the worker didn't know herself, so she kind of shouted to her fellow co-worker and I just kind of stood there and watched in amazement as the words tampons, pads were being tossed around out in the open and we were all okay with it. And it was then I realized how far I've come.

Hurrah, we've reached maturity!

So long, Canada

I'm in a particularly mellow mood today. Listening to jazz with a glass of wine next to a candle type of mood. My past few months in Canada have been quite the experience. I've endured weather I never imaged and saw animals I've never heard of and met some people who are from all over with cool life stories. Saw the beautiful mountains of Banff and Lake Louise, learned winter survival skills, and even replaced saying "soda" with "pop" (weird because my 4 years in Pittsburgh didn't even have me saying that). One thing I haven't experienced yet though is seeing a moose and witnessing the Northern Lights. I still have a week or two left, so I will not lose hope!

As Winter Projects is winding down here, I'm preparing myself for what's next to come.

It's always hard to leave a place I've stayed at for long. I'm the type of person who melts and molds and slips through the cracks of her surroundings and becomes a part of it. So much that when it's time to leave, I always feel a pang of sadness. I get easily attached to things, which is ironic because I love exploring and going different places. I leave a little part of me when I leave the places I've been and loved.

So goodbye Canada, and I hope to see you again sometime.
But preferably when it's above 0 degrees. ;-)

Thanksgiving

I am so grateful for my supportive family, my awesome friends, my job, my past year in Louisiana, my travels and my life experiences. We're thankful for the obvious.

I want to be thankful for the unconventional, too. The things we don't think about that we never give thanks to.

I'm thankful for my terrible memory when it comes to movies because I can rewatch any movie like it's the first time.

I'm thankful for my OCD when it comes to writing in my diary. I have to record the time, date, and day of the week before I start, and every time I do it, it makes me aware and appreciative of my existence. It's kind of hard to explain this one.

I'm thankful for how I can't memorize song lyrics for the life of me, except when it comes to praise songs. It's like God made me for worship!

I'm thankful for my incapability to feel loneliness easily. Especially on a holiday, seeing people's pictures of being with family and friends can affect someone. But while I am home alone seeing these posts, I feel nothing but happiness to see love being spread all around.

Happy Thanksgiving, all :-)

Palm Trees

I never really was a fan of palm trees until recently. For one, I started drinking the Vita coconut water that everyone seems to drink around here, and it sure is a unique taste. I started with the one with a hint of guava and that one is tasty! But the 100% coconut flavor still has to grow on me. Like cilantro, it's an acquired taste I think. I still hate cilantro though.

Anyway, I found out today more information about palm trees.

1. They grow best when in a group of 2 or more. They cannot flourish as much when planted alone.
2. They only grow well in pure soil, and will not grow in contaminated soil.
3. No matter what weather, they always grow straight up, unhindered by any bad or tough environment.
4. They are always green.
5. The more they grow, the stronger they are.

After finding all this out, I admire palm trees. I think God purposely placed things like palm trees on earth so we have things as guidelines that we can follow and look up to (did you see what I did there..). I want my peers to see these characteristics in me. Let's aspire to be like palm trees!

Diary of a Movie Enthusiast

You know what makes me happy?
I really like good movies. I like it being just me and the movie. I like rewinding back to parts that I liked while watching it, I like thinking out loud, and I like googling the soundtrack afterwards. I just finished watching 'Safety Not Guaranteed' and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I knew it was promising when the first song in the movie was by Guster (one of my favorite bands).

A funny story of discovering 'Safety Not Guaranteed'. It was listed on a random person's blog, and he listed 15 movies that were his favorites. His favorite being 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' and his second being 'Into the Wild', I knew this list was a keeper. Having seen both movies and giving them a 10 out of 10, I moved onto 'Safety Not Guaranteed' and yes, a good one as well! There are these particular movies that leave me with a certain feeling, and I can't describe it...

Actually I do know. And this quote describes it accurately: You know you've read a good book when you turn the last page and feel a little as if you have lost a friend.

So for movies...You know you've watched a good movie when the end credits roll and you feel a little as if you have lost a friend.

Time

TIME is the most precious thing in our lives. If you think about it, of course we can make more money or buy more things. The only thing we cannot get more of is time. So the best way to give your love to someone is to spend time with them. To use your personal time to be with them.

Rick Warren writes that this is the greatest way one can demonstrate unselfish love. When a person gives his time to another, he is giving of himself—a true act of unselfish love—because to give one’s time to another is to take it from one’s self.